9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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