I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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