definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
