When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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