i would punch a child for taco bell
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
