I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
no you cant smoke seaweed
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's blow job season.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize