where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
