i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
