why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
