saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
