I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
PANTIES FOUND
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