You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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