Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dear god my vagina.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
