This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize