it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
