Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize