I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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