It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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