I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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