there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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