I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
