we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize