Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize