WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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