Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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