Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
