when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
