remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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