so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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