I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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