i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
