1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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