Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
