The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We had to coat check the pizza.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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