so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize