If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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