Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
My balls are so social today.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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