I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
