but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
