RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
