he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
