Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
