Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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