You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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