to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
