I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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