She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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