Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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