That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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