Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
