Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
