I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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