Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
