i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
