We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
this hospital has no fireball
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
