My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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