atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Do vagina's smell?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
