U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
